TWIVORTIARE

Twivortiare. I've said many times in every platform and people used to it already. Finally, the movie is now showing on theatres and I've watched it last night. For me, the movie is good enough as a movie but I prefer the novel more. No offense, I will not give the bad score to the movie but I want to talk more about why I love Twivortiare more than anything. I am saying it again that it was coincidence reading the novel because I was triggered with the other movie based on Ika Natassa's novel, Critical Eleven. Long-short story, I ended up buying her other's novel, Twivortiare, and started to read. My emotional condition at that time was not good, I was shaking because there were so many things that bothered me in term of relationship/love story etc. At my age, there are a lot of pressure about this topic and I don't know how to respond to every question about "where is your boyfriend?" or the statement about the time of my marriage. I swear, those things don't help me but in otherwise make me feel frustrated. When I read the book, I felt relieved. I've got insights through the book that made me think about what the relationship is, the person who I want to have in my life and the important thing is how to be sincere when I face everything in life. Many parts in the book deeply touches my emotions and those are the reasons why I love the book, the story, the characters, all things about the book.

"Punya seseorang yang mau dengerin cerita kita tentang kekesalan seharian at the end of the day itu bikin lega banget"

Honestly, I adore Ika Natassa so much because she can read my mind so every detail in her book is represent my problem. But not only put that in her book, also it gives me strength to face it. I imagined her saying "it's okay!". It is not easy to be an adult. I am facing a lot of troubles which I want to be heard by someone. Sometimes, I just want to be encouraged so I have my confidence to move forward. Actually, I haven't had anyone yet.

Maybe, some of them would say,

"You have to tell someone! You have to speak!"

Well, my heart has spoken in another way about the untold stories. The other said that I want but I need the right person who is ready to keep everything.

"Ben: 'Kalau kamu ke New York, nanti siapa yang peluk-peluk aku kalau aku lagi sakit begini siapa, Ben?"

Even, when I write about this part, I started crying. I am realizing about how I need someone to take care of me, as simple as asking me about what I am doing, how is your job today, have you eaten, where am I, etc. I am tired of being alone but I believe that Allah still keep my best scenario with Him. 

I am going to be more sensitive these days when people talked about the topic. The words "my boyfriend …" lead me to ask the reason why I have nobody besides me. That words, yes, only words, can  easily make me sad.

" … setelah lelah berharap …."

Again, I am crying when I play the soundtrack of the movie. Kembali ke Awal by Glenn Fredly is actually not represent any of mine, but it is quite enough to express all the emotions of Twivortiare. All the parts in the story that are related to me come to my mind. And those words that I've written above say everything about that hope.  I've never be tired to believe. I wish.